The other woman’s side of the story

‘The other woman’, a phrase commonly used to refer to a man’s mistress, is a woman always shunned and ridiculed by society. They are always the bad person, blamed for “confusing” a man and “stealing” him from another woman. Nobody gives a damn what she has to say. No good woman wants to, nor expects to find herself being referred to as ‘the other woman’.

Over time, I have come to realise that the grotesque image of the other woman is often painted a bitter ex girlfriend/wife who is out to show the world that it is not she who let go of a good man, but an evil woman who “stole” her man. She will be quick to cry endless pools of crocodile tears with her friends, family & even in the media to paint herself as a victim. However, sometimes, many times actually, there is much more to the story than what is publicised.

Nobody likes to lose a good partner. A good boyfriend with potential to be a great provider, lover, companion and father is like gold in the courting phase. A woman would want to keep such a man to herself and make sure she does everything in her power to make sure the courtship ends with a ring being worn on her finger by her Prince Charming in a big, beautiful church full of hundreds of witnesses.If she loses him, she is often blamed. “How could you let go of such a man?” Worse still if she leaves him for someone she had assumed would be a better husband, only to realise the guy was a good for nothing pervert out for nothing more but to get in between her legs. Sadly by then it is too late and her ‘Prince Charming’ has moved on and found a lovely lady who loves him to death and treats him like a king. It is too embarrassing to admit that she stupidly lost a king trying to pursue a joke for a man. So she changes the script and spreads the fallacy that we often hear :She stole my man!

The accused, probably having no idea about her new boyfriend’s past love life, is surprised to see her picture/name on the pages of a popular lifestyle magazine when the woman decided to tell the world her story. To make the story more interesting (or convince herself that the man she lost wasn’t a good one), the woman will add more lies to the story. “He always used to cheat on me but I always forgave him. There are many more women out there he has relationships with…” Seeing these shocking accusations, the new lady now starts doubting her man, creating a small victory for the jealous ex. A strain is put on a good relationship and  if the trust was not strong, it is broken.

It happens one too many times.

The next time you hear a woman accusing another of stealing her man, try and get the full story before you start judging the “other woman”.


  1. Short, consise but really interesting perspective on other woman. Though in the scenario painted, I believe it’s better to count your losses and move on. He’s not yours anymore and furthermore I believe that though not easy, one can find someone for them even after a hard breakup or after being left. They just need to allow themselves to heal and grow. It changes the perspective of things

    1. We couldn’t have said it better. Holding on to the past can be quite toxic and keeps pulling one backwards.The best thing is to focus on what’s forward

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