After dating for over four years, Enock popped the big question in front of a large audience. The Kiayes are crazy in love with each other! They had a beautiful, colourful wedding and they are here to give us more tips about relationships and the journey leading to their happily ever after story…
Pendotalk: How did you meet?
Kiayes: We met at Kencall EPZ in December 2008. We were both working there at the time. We hit it off almost immediately.
Pendotalk: For how long did you date before you got married?
Christine: We dated for exactly 58 months and 2 days ; from 5 Feb 2009 when he officially asked me to be his girlfriend to 6 Dec 2013 when he asked me to be his wife.
Pendotalk: How did you know you were ready for marriage?
Christine: Everything was right, and everything felt right.
Enock: I couldn’t wait any longer, I thought 5 years was too long and she was still the same sweet and loving girl I met.
Pendotalk: Chris Hart, a relationship expert, claims that a woman always needs to indirectly hint to her man that he needs to propose. Did you do that before he proposed?
Christine: When we met I mentioned that I wanted to get married early so I believe that is something he has always known. I also kept mentioning how I wanted my wedding to be like especially because I was attending several of my friends’ weddings. If those qualify as hints then yes, I did hint quite a bit.
Pendotalk: How did he propose to you? Was it a surprise?
Christine: Oh how I love this story! It was on my graduation day. I had a graduation dinner and he suggested that my friends and I go celebrate at the Elani Album launch thereafter. A couple of minutes after we came in, I got called on stage and my husband walked up with me and was handed the mic as the crowd went wild. Honestly, at that moment, I knew he was congratulating me for my achievement and hard work so I was super excited to be in front of a lively crowd. Next thing I saw him reach into his pocket as he said many nice words and I immediately burst into tears. He asked and I said yes, though he claims he didn’t hear because I was bawling my eyes out. My hand was shaking so much he couldn’t even put the ring in. We eventually left the stage as the crowd chanted my name *awesome feeling*.
Pendotalk: What would you advise men to consider as they plan their proposals?
Enock: First of all be sure. Ask yourself if that is the woman that you would like to spend the rest of your life with. Then move to ask her parents for her hand in marriage.
Pendotalk: Did you follow all the traditional ceremonies required before the wedding? Which new traditions did you find out about that you did not previously know?
Christine: Yes we did. There is the Ayie, which is the introductions and the Nyombo which is the Dowry ceremony. As Enock and I had been together for a long time, most of our family members knew each other as they got to interact on several occasions. We therefore opted to merge the two functions. This was held on 8 Mar 2014 at my home in Siaya.
The Luo dowry ceremony isn’t very complex so it was rather smooth. I had never attended one before so it was something new for me.
Pendotalk: What would you advise men about dowry negotiations?
Enock: Basically, a man cannot be able to buy a woman in terms of money. To me dowry is a form of appreciation to the people who helped in her upbringing. Dowry doesn’t end; you have to appreciate those people for a long time, probably forever. Finally, men need to be humbled by the fact that the lady wasn’t easy to raise.
Pendotalk: Do you think your wedding ceremony was “your own” or it was one of those weddings that you almost have no say in most of the decisions made?
Christine: It was definitely my own as almost all the ideas were what I wanted.
Enock: She actually took over everything
Pendotalk: When planning for a wedding, the food is considered to be one of the most important things. What else do you think is very important and how would you advise couples to go about it?
Christine: The vows are very important, especially for the couple. I would therefore advise couples to spend time and write personal vows that are more meaningful. This will make the wedding day more remarkable for the bride and groom.
Enock: I agree the vows are special because they are said before God, apart from that if you have a good team working behind the scenes, then the wedding should go perfectly well.
Pendotalk: What kind of challenges did you face as you were preparing for the wedding?
Christine: Given my attention to detail, the planning process took a lot of my time as I wanted to be in control of everything. As I had assisted in a couple of weddings before that it wasn’t very hard to get everything together. Finances were also a challenge as you have to sacrifice quite a bit.
Enock: To me I was worried that Christine was being consumed too much by the wedding, so she was my main worry, and of course finances.
Pendotalk: How long have you been married now?
Kiayes: It has been 5 month of awesomeness.
Pendotalk: What changed in your relationship after you got married?
Christine: Nothing much has changed. I just get to be with him almost all the time and ride to work together which I believe has brought us even closer together.
Enock: To me now we are keener with how we spend money as a family and my mind is now focused on bigger things to make my family better.
Pendotalk: So far, is marriage what you expected it be?
Christine: I did not know what to expect as people have good and bad opinions of it. I however have my aspirations of marriage which I am working towards. I must say that I am happy so far!
Enock: I have heard a lot of good and bad things but the best advice would be: take it one day at a time.
Pendotalk: What are your professions? Do the demands of your jobs ever affect the relationship? How do you find time for each other?
Christine: I am a consultant at one the Big 4 audit firms so at times I do get busy. My work also requires me to travel out of the country or out of town on engagements so it’s sometimes difficult when we are far from each other. I get homesick a lot.
Enock: I work with a company that partners with EABL, sometimes work demands long hours of work but I believe our bond is thicker than these small challenges.
Pendotalk: Do you get along with your in-laws? How do you deal with conflicts with in-laws?
Christine: My in-laws are the best you could ever ask for and are more like my direct family. So far we have not gotten into any conflict so I am glad all is well.
Enock: I would say the same thing; her in-laws are awesome.
Pendotalk: How do you deal with issues and arguments between each other?
Pendotalk: What role does God play in your relationship?
God plays an important role in our relationship. Like they say, a couple that prays together stays together. We read the Bible and pray together before we go to sleep. We also pray in the morning before we leave the house for work. We have made it a habit to pray before all meals together and would like to make sure prayer becomes a culture in our home.
Pendotalk: What advice would you give to all young couples out there?
Communication is key in any relationship. It’s important to understand your partner and know the best way to communicate to him/her.