The Five Love Languages: Gifts

Gary Chapmans’s five love languages are a great way to get to understand yourself and your partner better. You can find the link to know what your love language in our previous article here. In our last article, we focused on words of affirmation, a simple yet very critical love language.

Gifts is one love language I struggle with in all my relationships.From gift giving to my siblings, my friends & partner, I always find a hard time getting that  perfect gift. It would be much easier if the most expensive gift was always the best one, since one can always just save up for a while to buy something nice and expensive. However, the best gift is one that says:

 I know you well & I want to do whatever it takes to make you happy

So to try and make this post as useful as possible, I asked myself, what is the best gift I have ever received? Why did I like it so much? There are a few gifts I have received that I really loved:

  • A cake

It was a tiramisu cake and it was very delicious! The gift giver had apparently ordered the cake from a popular bakery but when they went to collect it, they did not like how it came out. So they asked for permission to bake another tiramisu in that bakery’s kitchen themselves! (Well, they told me this story so I can not be 100% sure it is true but that cake was sooo delicious!)

I loved that they remembered that I love tiramisu cake & they took the time to bake the cake themselves, & of course, I also loved it because it was extremely lip-smacking!

  • The book ‘The Alchemist” by Paulo Coelho

This one was very special to me. I had read the book on soft copy and I totally loved it (I still do). The gift giver blessed me with my own hard copy of the book. I loved the gift so much because they remembered that I had mentioned I loved the book and it is something I can keep forever!


Let’s break down the messages indirectly passed to your partner, through a good gift.

“I want you to be happy”

Here, the person receiving the gift wants to feel like you went out of your way to get for them something that could make them smile. A good example I usually give is when a man buys a bouquet of roses and uses public means to take them to his lady. The ‘humiliation’ of people seeing him with flowers in the bus might bother him, but he does it anyway

It is the effort that makes it special.

“I know you well”

A good gift giver must be a good listener & observer. They will remember a story you told them 2 years ago about a yellow bow which you loved when you were 5 years years old and they will look for a similar yellow bow and surprise you with it.

Take time to listen to and observe your partner to determine what they would want or need. Do this constantly, not just at around the time of a special date eg. birthday/anniversary. You will realise that there is a lot you can do for them. For example, if you have observed that they seem stressed, you can give them a spa treatment. If their watch has been faulty, you could get it fixed or buy them a new one. These are the kinds of things that make someone react like “Wow you really do think of me”, especially when the timing is right!

When Pendotalk delivers gifts on special occasions, the reactions we get are so priceless. It really makes people smile. Our simple package with flowers, chocolates and cupcakes saved so many guys out there this Valentines day! You might also want to consider non-monetary gifts, of which we have good examples of what you could do for your partner here.


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