Dr. James Boyd McFie, MBS, has served as Independent Non-Executive Chairman of the Board of Sasini Limited since August 30, 2007. He is also Chairman of the Remuneration and Nominations Committee of the Company.
He is Director of the Standard Media Group Limited. He also serves as Honorary Treasurer on the Board of Directors of AfriAfya, the African Network for Health Knowledge Management and Communication. He has been Training Manager in Ernst and Young and Member of Education and Training Committee of ICPAK.He is also the director at the school of accountancy Strathmore University
It was so interesting to see this other side of Mcfie! He was not stone faced or angry and he answered all my questions with either a smile or a look of concern.
Let’s see what he has to say about relationships, marriage, sex and homosexualiy!
Pendotalk: Tell us about your first love…
Mcfie: Her name was Judy O’shea. I remember she lived in Kileleshwa. I was 14 years old at the time. Then I met this other lady called Linda…
Pendotalk: You often warn your female students not to believe the lies that young men say to get them into bed. Did you ever try such tricks when you were younger? What advice can you give to the young men who conduct such behaviour?
Mcfie: No, never. I once liked a lady who I used to do waterpolo training with for Kenya championships. However, I never tried to sleep with her. I hope the lady didn’t think I was useless because I didn’t have sex with her. I know the consequences of such behavior and I was not willing to go through them.
To such men I say, “YOU DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH A WOMAN UNLESS SHE IS YOUR WIFE!”
There are TOO MANY SINGLE MOTHERS IN KENYA! Others have abortions which haunt them forever. Some women have an average of 5 to 6 abortions. This is the reality!
Pendotalk: Do you think people should start dating while in university or should they wait until later when they are financially stable?
Mcfie: The question here is “What is dating?” Dating goes so far and should not go further. It should not include sex. Think about it like this, the primary purpose of eating is not pleasure, it is to stay alive. In the same way, the primary purpose of sex is NOT pleasure.
So if by dating you mean sleeping together, then you should not date, even when financially stable.
I know a man who left his wife after they had had 7 children for a younger woman. Sex was his priority! We are creature of habit. Every woman becomes attractive after the first one.
If you want to date, go out and dance! Share a meal in a restaurant! Watch a movie! That’s OK!
Pendotalk: What is your relationship status?
Mcfie: I am single.
I joined Opus dei when I was 17years years old as a numerary. Numeraries are celibate members. It was my vocation. I had no intention of getting married.
Pendotalk:Do you believe in love and marriage? What do you think is the purpose of marriage?
Mcfie: Marriage is a beautiful thing! There is a young man who washed his wife’s feet at their wedding like Jesus did at the last Supper. His wife was the center of his life. That is how marriage should be: Love. Commitment. Faithfulness.
Pendotalk: Are you one of those people who can be described as being married to your work?
Mcfie: People just have to remember that marriage creates a commitment. A married man must make time for his wife and his children. He should not work until midnight, for example.
I work hard with the aim of doing good for Kenya and I enjoy what I do.
Pendotalk: You often get enraged by sub-standard behavior. Do you think that if you had a wife she would help to keep you grounded so that you are less angry?
Mcfie: I do not want Kenya to become like Haiti where there is terrible leadership! I get enraged because it sad to see Kenya heading down that road! However, I only complain when there is a reason to and I do not go home with a scowl on my face.
Pendotalk: You speak very strongly against homosexuality. Why?
Mcfie: Homosexuality is not natural! That is why two men cannot have a child. People like Gordon Brown want to impose their morals on countries like Uganda yet they would not let Uganda impose their morals on them.
Pendotalk: What would you do if a good student or colleague of yours told you they were gay?
Mcfie: I would say “pole”
Pendotalk: You are known for accusing Kenyan men for being lazy and useless. Is this truly what you believe? If so, why?
Mcfie: These are the things the traditional Kenyan man expects from a woman:
- Fetch water
- Cook Food
- Get firewood
- Educate the children
- Have sex at any time
This is what he does in return for this woman:
- Take care of the home
THE WOMAN DOES ALL THE WORK!
The modern Kenyan man is barely any different! Traditions take years to break down. Now there are even men living off their wife’s earnings. There are too many irresponsible husbands!
Pendotalk: Do you think Kenyan men make good husbands?
Mcfie: Some are good husbands. Many are not. Kenyan men tend to expect too much submissiveness from their wives. Other than that Kenya has become a man eat man society. One looks at somebody thinking, “What can I get out of you?” & this is the mentality Kenyan men have as they are approaching women.
Pendotalk: What do you think makes a good husband?
Mcfie: A good man; a gentleman. He should be faithful and should be in the marriage for more than a joy ride. He should not think of his wife as a status symbol.
Pendotalk: You usually caution men about high maintenance women and you say that women who keep weaves are often high maintenance. What would you advise the men who pursue such women?
Mcfie: If you marry a woman whose one idea in life is status, she can easily leave you for a better option. Some even say you should not marry a woman who is too beautiful.(What is beauty? See what we have to say about the natural beauty of a black woman here.
Pendotalk: Which qualities do you believe would make a woman a good wife?
Mcfie: An understanding woman with the ability to forgive. She should have a big heart and be ready to overlook defects.
Pendotalk: Consider this scenario: An intelligent and hardworking man wants to leave his managerial job at a top company to start his own small business. His wife is not up for the idea. They have argued about it and she is threatening to leave him. What would you advise him?
Mcfie: He should not leave the job to start a business. He can start it as he continues to work. There is a high chance the business might fail. He should explain to his wife his intentions but ensure that he can support the family.
The wife is looking out for the best interests of the family and she would be justified to leave him if he chose to put their stability at risk.
Pendotalk: What advice would you give to the young men and women seeking love out there?
Mcfie: People copy what they see in the movies and from other people hence the rise of promiscuous behavior. Stop!
Children should grow up in a family so just have children after marriage.