First Date?

A first date – so full of hope and excitement! But all too often leading to relationships that are more trouble than they’re worth…

So how do you make a first date work for you? Well first of all, don’t be too quick deciding to go out together! Because you can spot the ones who’ll eventually let you down long before you’ve finished the chat-up lines.

Which means being on the alert from the moment you clap eyes on one another. And not getting all hung up in the magic of the moment. Dating’s not about love at first sight. It’s about weeding out frogs! So be sure everything feels just right before you go any further…

And once you’re on your date, don’t get too starry eyed and romantic. Enjoy every moment of course – but stay sharp. And if your date’s showing the first signs of insecurity, neediness, a weird personality – or just doesn’t treat you right? Don’t even think about a second chance. And don’t go kissing anyone too soon either, because it creates a bond that’s deeper than logic! When you’re trying to choose someone right for you, it’s best to stay rational while you’re making your mind up…

If they’re easy to talk to, there’s lots of smiling and laughter, good eye contact and it feels nice being close, then things are looking good. But constantly looking over your shoulder? Staring into space? Keeping their distance? Yawning? Fake smiles. Asking the same question twice? Not asking you anything about yourself? Stalling when you ask what they’re doing tomorrow? Don’t bother with a second date.

Watch out if you’re being asked all kinds of personal questions but offered nothing in return. Good relationships start with you both being open with one another.

A guy should thank you for a nice time at the end of the evening and walk you to your bus or taxi. Showing that he cares about your safety and comfort. A girl should make you feel good for taking her out – beware of a woman who shows no appreciation. Before long you’ll find that her expectations are impossible to meet.

Is your date nice to you but heavy handed with doormen or waiters? In six months time that’s how you’ll be being treated. Constant name dropping and boasting? You’re with someone who’s insecure. Eyeing up everyone around you? Imagine how things might be when you’ve been together five years. Drinks like a fish? Don’t expect that to change when you’re married. Always wanting to be the centre of attention? That can get so wearing as the years go by.

And never forget. If your new friend genuinely likes you, they’ll suggest calling, texting or fixing another date. So don’t hang around if they don’t. And he should be the one to call. It he doesn’t, he’s a wimp – or worse. Think of it as a lucky escape…

This post by Chris Hart was published on published 2012-01-22 in


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