Ask Chris Hart: Should I stay with him or should I let go?

To Chris Hart: I need some relationship advice and haven’t quite been able to ask my friends or any one close to me because I think I may be over-analyzing things. But if you could help that would be great. I started seeing someone officially about a month ago, we took two months before that to really get to know each other. I haven’t been in a relationship for the last two years as I am a bit of a commitment-phobe! So when this guy came along I was quite surprised at how willing I was to see where things could potentially go. And so far they have been amazing, he has most of the qualities I look for. However (and this is where the advice is needed!) I feel he isn’t a great listener, I can be narrating a story and he completely zones out or he gets distracted! It is the most frustrating thing and has led to many an argument. He sees a future for us but sometimes I don’t because listening is a major deal for me, especially because I am a great listener and give people their space to talk. Is this a cause for worry or am i overreacting? Lastly we are from different backgrounds, in the sense that I have traveled and had lots of exposure thanks to my parents and upbringing, while he has not. I’ve always imagined ending up with someone who is witty and has this intelligent sense of humour..and he doesn’t. And I think that worries me because he hasn’t met my family yet and some of my friends, and I feel that lack of wit could make him not gel with them very well. He will be lost in the noise-so to speak. I really could be giving it too much thought.Any advice? It would be greatly appreciated!! 🙂


I think you should kindly and gently bring this relationship to an end. Because although you obviously like this guy, you’ve mentioned several things that could lead to a lot of problems in the future – the listening (poor communication skills), your backgrounds (difference expectations and values etc), and the possibility of him not getting on with your family…

…and these things are important! So don’t be embarrassed to end things. That’s what dating’s for! And I see far too many couples who are in huge difficulties after years together – and knew all about what is driving them apart long before they wed.

So it might sound a bit hard, but it’s batter to cut your losses and look for someone who matches you better.


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