Ask Chris Hart: I chose to let go

Dear Chris,

I’m a University student. I met a lady I liked in June last year and wanted to know more but she seemed too much in a “hurry”. She confessed loving me in August but I felt it was too short a time to be sincere. I opened up and told her this and asked “we need to know each other better”. She seemed ready, even for for marriage but when I opened up to tell her my studies are my priority and we can only be “serious”, discuss marriage after knowing each other well, I realized I’d stepped on a live electric wire. She said I was just buying time, not ready for her, the reason I refused to kiss and make love to her.

She lost a relative over Dec 2014 and I wasn’t able to attend as I’d an academic trip on the week of the burial. However, I bought her condolence gifts, planned to treat her on Valentines’ but on my return, I got a novel email from her saying good bye. My response was simple, “It’s ok”. I cannot stand her impatience. I have this weakness that I make decisions once after serious considerations. Advise

Chris says:

Hi! It’s probably for the best that you’ve split up. Essentially you two were on different places in your lives – and probably had some irreconcilable personality differences – and were very unlikely to make it. Don’t worry about it. Or about your decision making style. 

Better luck next time. 


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