10 signs that you are dating someone you will not marry

A healthy and meaningful relationship is a relationship whose purpose is marriage as is emphasized in Pendotalk’s article, The End. We date as part of the courtship process, to get to know people better so that we can determine if they are the ones we want spend the rest of our lives with. Is it enough that your girlfriend or boyfriend is a good person? You should know,

“A great person could be the wrong person”

Here are 10 signs you are dating someone you will not marry:

  1. Values

What do you value the most? Is it family? Religion? Career? Wealth? Different people have different values and if the values between you and your partner significantly differ, then a future marriage cannot work out. For instance, if your greatest value is family, do not date someone who has not visited any family member for a long time and has no intention to.

  1. Faith

There are so many religions out there. Some people follow them, others do not. Some are more spiritual than religious. When it comes to the time to prepare for marriage, couples often find themselves realizing the effect of the differences in their faith. Questions start being asked like “Where will we get married?” “Which religion will the children follow?” “How comes he/she does not follow any faith?”

Couples should have this discussion about faith much earlier in the relationship. That way it will be easier to handle any differences they have down the road. If any changes should be made, then they should be. This shows that a couple is in the relationship long term. Failure to do so is often because a party in the relationship does not intend to stick around for too long.

A relationship is like a triangle. On the two bottom ends is the man and woman, & at the tip of the triangle, is God.

So make Him a part of your relationship.



  1. Money issues

I know when I mention money issues you must be thinking I am talking about being broke. No. Being broke is not the issue, the way money is spent is the issue. A man may have a very good job or business and has significant income, but he spends most of his money in the bar. A woman may be financially independent, but she spends too much money on new clothes. Then there are the people who have absolutely no financial plan. They spend recklessly without knowing where the money to buy tomorrow’s dinner ingredients will come from, yet they are capable of planning for it. This puts a great strain on a relationship. So if you actually intend to get married, make sure your finances are in order.

money problmes

  1. Compatibility

Sometimes two great people come together but they are not compatible. They do not really understand each other. They cannot really live comfortably together.

Here’s an example: she may have OCD and is therefore incredibly clean whereas he has a very hard time keeping anything clean or tidy. How many times do you think she will complain about his dirtiness before giving up?

If you can fart, wear your worn out clothes and poop in your partner’s house without being embarrassed, these are good signs of compatibility 🙂


  1. You do not know the family

Have you ever met your partner’s family? & if it is too soon for family introductions, have you at least talked about when you can meet the family? Any man or woman who is serious about a relationship will introduce their girlfriend/boyfriend to the family. If your partner has no intention of doing this, you may as well end the relationship now.

  1. Drinking, Smoking, etc

You hate the smell of tobacco, you simply cannot stand it! You probably get angry anytime someone starts smoking within 200 meters of you. So how do you expect to live with a man who smells like chimney?! & then there are those ladies who do not like a drunk, uncontrollable man and yet they are dating the estate’s popular alcoholic. They say, “I will help him change”, but they are always having the very same fights about his drinking habits. He will NOT change my dear, not because of you! Change comes from within! So you should either break of the relationship, or you learn how to cope with a drunkard.


  1. No trust

If you find yourself always questioning the whereabouts of your mate, then you do not trust them. If you always check their call log, text messages, emails and social media, then you do not trust them.


But then again there is a healthy, necessary level of jealousy that couples have like that quick disapproving look your boyfriend may give you when he sees your admirer coming to talk to you.

  1. Sex

Did you know there is something like too much sex? Well there is. My friend once told me that he thinks that the only difference between a friend and a girlfriend is sex. If this is the mentality one has in their current relationship, it is definitely NOT going to lead to marriage! If good sex is the only thing that keeps you together then it’s only a matter of time before you part ways. Sex is not sufficient to keep two people together for a lifetime!

  1. No Compromise

Remember that book titled “He’s just not that into you?” It is a book that warns women about men who do not love them enough.

Too little love cannot be measured but there are some definite signs. If your partner is never willing to go out of their way to see you even if it’s only for a few minutes, do things that make you happy even it they may be uncomfortable for them, only want to spend time with you when they have nothing else to do, then they are just not that into you!



  1. Career first

Is your partner’s job their top priority? If they spend all their time working and do not try to make time for the relationship, these are danger signs. This is emphasized for a modern woman, to whom career is often important, but it should never be more important to her than her family and her relationship.If your partner would not hesitate to leave the moment they get a good job offer abroad, this is not a good sign. The separation of the two of you should be highly considered in their decision. Should they stay for you? Should they go with you? If they go without you, how often will you communicate and how often will they come back to visit?


Re-evaluate your relationship, and make sure you do what it takes to make it a healthy and meaningful relationship.


  1. I like the Article so much…Most of the questions and Answers am getting in this article are some of the difficult questions i was asking myself but I wasn’t getting the answers. Reading this article has given me the answers I wanted to know

  2. As always you speak the truth!!

    I agree especially on may areas.
    I once dated a man who said how family is the most important thing to him but on the other hand his actions were far from it. i am a firm believer in family and this showed me that I would not love a future with him among matters on religion as well.
    The drinking and smoking was far too alarming and wondered if it will ever pass.

    in short this post has summarised what I felt that time.

    very true!!

    keep up!!

    1. Hi Okadia, Pendotalk’s Number one fan. (We love you too!)

      It’s great to have someone approve these signs through their own experience. There is no point in keeping a relationship going knowing it will end.

      Thank you for your comment!

  3. Number 6 could be more gender balanced. There are women out there who smell like chimneys and others are estate alcoholics.

    All in all the post is for real. Too bad most people rely on hindsight to see the signs.

  4. Great article! I think conversation is important. If you are dating someone you cannot talk to then it is unlikely to work. A sign is those more often than not awkward silent moments during dates and both of you being on your phones during the date.

  5. Great article!!!A friend just shared it and I have to say,it is very helpful.Thank you.Am looking forward to more.

  6. Very good article i just hope those dating can have those 10 signs on their finger tips because they need to remember those tips in marriage.

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